The Hidden Trap of High Standards: How to Stay Motivated and Collaborative at Work

In the world of high achievers, where ambition fuels success, high standards often serve as both a gift and a burden. They drive us to perform exceptionally well, inspire confidence, and push boundaries. But, as I’ve learned through coaching, these same high standards can sometimes derail success—not because they’re inherently bad, but because they can create friction in team dynamics.

I recently worked with a high-performing client whose relentless pursuit of excellence clashed with the work culture around him. He often felt frustrated by what he saw as his colleagues’ “lower standards” and became dismissive of their contributions. This mindset not only sapped his motivation but also strained his relationships with his teammates.

It’s a story that resonates with many of us. At some point in our careers, we’ve all faced this dilemma: how do we reconcile our high standards with the realities of teamwork, where not everyone approaches work the same way?

The Question That Changes Everything

In an insightful article from the Harvard Business Review, titled “When Your High Standards Derail Your Success,” the authors suggest a pivotal question to help high performers navigate this challenge:

“Are my standards making a meaningful difference in whether we accomplish our goals?”

This simple yet transformative question encourages self-reflection and shifts the focus from personal performance to collective outcomes.

When I introduced this idea to my client, it was a turning point. As he reflected, he realized that his high standards, while valuable, weren’t always the determining factor in achieving team goals. His insistence on doing things “his way” sometimes alienated colleagues and slowed progress.

Shifting the Focus to Common Goals

By considering the broader picture, my client began to see the value of collaboration over perfection. He didn’t need to compromise on excellence, but he did need to redefine what excellence looked like in a team setting.

This shift in mindset opened the door for flexibility. Flexibility doesn’t mean lowering your standards; it means being willing to adapt your approach to support the broader mission. It’s about understanding that the quality of relationships within a team can be just as important as the quality of the work.

For my client, this meant listening more to his teammates, valuing their perspectives, and finding ways to align their contributions with his vision of success. Over time, he became less dismissive of others’ efforts and more focused on how their strengths could complement his own.

A Universal Workplace Dilemma

This story is far from unique. The tension between individual standards and collective goals is a common dilemma in workplaces across industries. High performers often struggle with the perception that they’re carrying the team, while others may feel undervalued or criticized.

The key to navigating this tension lies in reframing success—not as an individual achievement, but as a shared outcome. Asking yourself whether your standards are making a meaningful difference to the team’s goals can help you strike a balance between striving for excellence and fostering collaboration.

Practical Takeaways

Reflect on the Bigger Picture Regularly ask yourself: Are my standards helping the team succeed, or are they creating unnecessary barriers?
Prioritize Team Goals Shift your focus from personal perfection to collective progress. Success is rarely a solo endeavor.
Embrace Flexibility Recognize that adapting doesn’t mean settling. It means finding new ways to achieve excellence together.
Foster Open Dialogue Build trust with your teammates by discussing expectations and finding common ground.

A Tool for Long-Term Success

In the end, my client found renewed motivation and a stronger connection with his team. Reflecting on the role of his standards didn’t mean abandoning them—it meant wielding them more effectively.

For all of us, this story serves as a reminder: high standards are a strength, but their true power lies in how we use them to inspire and uplift those around us. By staying focused on common goals and embracing flexibility, we can achieve more—together.

Aki Tanaka